One Fish, Two Fish. Red Fish, Dead Fish.

As we all suspected, the signs of the end times start in Texas. Where else would you want them to start? Apparently a man-made lake has turned red after all of the fish died off. Well shit, get me a Bible and a place to pray!

Photos of the OC Fisher Reservoir in San Angelo State Park that began circulating fishing forums last week have conjured up apocalyptic images, with one preacher from Indiana saying the lake is another sign of the end times.

"I'm not saying that this Texas lake is these scriptures in Revelation but what I am saying is the Bible prophecies are slowly fulfilling themselves in the midst of an end time revelation – that we need to be right, we need to be saved, we need to be born again and ready to meet the coming king," said Paul Begley of Community Gospel Baptist Church in Knox.

Slowly fulfilling themselves? So the end times are going to come not like a shot gun blast but like a soccer game? We should really start listening to this previously unknown man from previously unknown Knox, Indiana.

So that is it. End times prophecies coming to pass. There can be no other explanation as to why this lake turned red and all the fish died.

Texas Parks and Wildlife Inland Fisheries officials said the water's color is the result of Chromatiaceae bacteria, according to Live Science.

Oh come now. You expect me to believe that this can be explained away by science? This is one of the signs or seals or whatever the fuck. Science and it's zany explanations.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Christian people of America. Be proud.