Saturday, December 4, 2010

The Five Homophobes You Meet In A Religion Class

Does anything go hand-in-hand better than homophobia and religion? According to the religion class I am taking right now, not at all. I had an extra elective to take this semester, so I figured “Old Testament As Literature” would be a fun class to take. I knew I would be in for a good time when I found out that the instructor is actually a Baptist preacher. What can I say, I am a glutton for punishment.

Well, not actually. The instructor turned out to be a Francis Collins-style Christian who puts a lot of stock in science. The man is a biologist but just can't seem to shake off the trappings of Jesus. Oh well, I can deal with namby-pamby Christians. Especially ones that think that most of the Bible is allegory and the Old Testament is not true.

Enough background. During last nights class I was able to have an interesting and enlightening argument with another student, which turned in to an argument with all five students in the class. The conversation came out of nowhere and had nothing to do with religion, aside from the obvious fact that the only arguments that can be made against homosexuality can come from the Bible or the Koran.

The argument started with this one imbecile stating that he hasn't been able to run in a local park lately because he has been sick. However, that was the least of his worries since he has notice more and more lately that “the park system in Gaston County is being overrun by degenerate homosexuals. I know that I couldn't get away with saying this is most classes, but I feel like you guys would understand.” What part of that I am supposed to understand is... not understandable.

This devolves into a discussion between the other members of the class about how gay people are everywhere, lurking like some sort of 1930's propaganda piece about Jew's waiting to steal good Aryan children. I should have said something before this point, but it took me a minute to process what was happening and form a coherent sentence. Then came the gem that sent me off my rocker. “You know, not all homosexuals, but most homosexuals' idea of a good time is getting straight guys drunk and raping them. They thing the only thing that separates a gay man from a straight man is blood-alcohol content. That's why we shouldn't drop 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'.”

This is the point where I lost my mind. Here is a summery of what I said to this schlemiel: “You are telling me that you have never served with a gay person? Bullshit. Gay people are in the military, they just can't be open about it. If they are allowed to be open about it tomorrow, they still aren't going to find you, or any of you attractive. Your are all a group of bigoted assholes who can't come up with an argument against homosexuality that doesn't involved your stupid, fictitious religion. Have I ever tried to rape anyone in this class? Guess what; I am fucking gay! The lot of you are just as bad as the racists in the 1950's who argued against integrating black people in the military because of the looming spectra of the black rapist, coming to tear your white wives open from the bottom up. Spare me your bullshit.”

I am pretty sure that effectively shut down the conversation. I am not interested in sounding like a diplomat when idiots spout their opinions and expect everyone to go along with them. Would any of you handled it differently?


  1. The only way I'd have handled it differently is to avoid calling them "bigoted assholes" and said, instead, that "you show incredible ignorance and bigotry."

    No sense giving them any ammunition. Remember, the first person to use obscenity and insult runs the risk of losing the debate.

    But you put them in their place and they deserved it. They showed no intelligence at all.

  2. Since you asked I would have handled it differently but I'm also not gay so I don't have the personal emotion behind it. I agree with Jim and in addition I think a calmer "I'm gay and not only am I insulted by what you are saying, you are so misguided on what a gay man would do." That alone would have shut down the conversation and more out of their embarassment because obviously they knew the conversation would be inappropriate among a person who is gay or in any other environment. I'm thinking it would have also resulted on some self refecting on their part.

  3. Oh, boy. Religion is my sociological concentration. When I took soci of religion I was the only outspoken non-believer. I didn't get lynched, so that was good.

    I actually think I would have responded in kind. I know we aren't supposed to fall victim to spouting ad hom attacks, but damn. When someone is attacking the very core of your being, what the hell are you supposed to do?

    Sometimes vulgarity is appropriate. I say this was one of those times. So long as you ended with "And bless all your hearts" you're good.