Friday, March 5, 2010

Can Someone Sell Louisiana Back to France?

Fear is a great motivator. Just ask the Republican Party. It seems that fear has motivated the Bossier Parish Sheriff’s Department to form their own militia in order to keep the peace “in the event of a man-made or natural disaster”, according to the Shreveport Times. What is the name of this exercise in redundant enforcement? Why, it’s “Operation Exodus”, of course.

The Sheriff freely admits that the name has biblical connotations, as if we really needed him to confirm that. Can someone please tell me how the craziest of the crazies seem to make it far enough to be put in charge of anything? The good Sheriff has formed this little operation because if anything happens “nationally or locally, we want to make sure we can take care of the people in Bossier, no matter what.” It sounds like a noble cause.

Here is where it gets scary. The Sheriff rounded up 300 volunteers and chose the top 200 to be part of the force (On an interesting side note, out of the 200 volunteers, 5 are black). The volunteers are being trained on how to defend themselves in case of an attack then they will be given “shotguns, riot shields, batons, and a .50-caliber machine gun mounted on a ‘war wagon’”.

Why all the fear, Sheriff? Islamic terrorists? Of course it’s Islamic terrorists. This parish is home to Barksdale Air Force Base, which is the location that former-President Bush spoke to the nation from in the aftermath of 9/11 and is also the home of the Air Force Strike Command.

So here is the run down: a small time Sheriff gets together a group of hillbillies, arms them, and tells them that they will be the first line of defense in case of a terrorist attack, all under the heading of “Operation Exodus”. It seems more likely that the Sheriff has built his own militia for either the next civil war or for Armageddon.

Just remember, terrorists; don’t worry about the military personnel that are trained to fend off terrorist attacks, or the massive federal operation that would take place if you were to do anything in the vicinity of the Strike Command center. No, worry about the group of aging white men with shotguns and biblically-themed combat operations.


  1. But remember: if you're white, you can do crazy shit and it's not terrorism.

  2. Only brown people commit terrorism, right?