Friday, August 20, 2010

Unthinking Christians

What is more annoying: a fundamentalist Christian or a namby-pamby Christian? I think I may have found the answer. While fundamentalist Christians are definitely annoying and all-around bad people, at least you know where they stand. They take the Bible literally even though they live their lives hypocritically. I can deal with that because it makes it extremely easy to ridicule their idiotic actions. Namby-pamby Christians, on the other hand, are so wishy-washy that it is hard to tell what the next line of insanity that spews forth is going to be.

Did you know that as an atheist, you are actually a Christian? You are, you just don’t know it, at least that is the case according to Badir Awe, writing for Cayman News Service. In an article titled “Unconscious Christians” (which is incidentally how I like my Christians), Badir makes a case for atheists and agnostics being Christians without knowing it. This junk article is the Voltron of logical fallacies; a bunch of small ones that come together to make a big one.

They are probably not aware of it because I do not think that even Christians are really aware of it. There is one criterion by which one loves Christ and that is loving your neighbour. Whether you have faith in Jesus or not, if you love your neighbour, you ipso facto love Christ. It is one and the same. Many atheists and agnostics love their fellow human beings and do not discriminate or treat anybody unfairly, regardless of where they come from. Such ‘unconscious Christians’ are people who do not intellectually accept Christ, but effectively, they do. They love Christ through their hearts, if not their minds. They love their neighbours, and thereby love God.

Did you catch that? You are an atheist, but it doesn’t matter because you aren’t an atheist. God is real and he is going to save you because you care about humanity. I have a few problems with this as you might imagine. First, if you love your neighbor, you love Jesus? Caring about your fellow human beings has nothing to do with Christianity. There are plenty of Christians who couldn’t care less about their neighbor, especially if that neighbor is an atheist or *gasp* a Muslim. If I show compassion for my fellow crew members on Rocket Ship Earth, that doesn’t mean I love Jesus. It just means I care about people. So, if this is your line of reasoning, then you are ipso facto illogical.

Second, you can’t accept the cult of Jesus but not. You either do or you don’t. It’s like saying “I am a guy, but not”, or “I am not gay, but I am”. This is one of the rare occasions that there is no gray area. You either accept Jesus, or you don’t. I, for one, do not. I am reasonably certain that Jesus as written about in the Bible never existed and was an amalgamation of different folk heroes. A person named Jesus existed in that era in that part of the world in the same way that a guy named Jose exists in Mexico City.

Third, if you don’t have to believe in god or Jesus to make it to heaven, then why is everyone so damned obsessed with the death cult of Christianity? Why all the pomp and circumstance surrounding this backwards religion? Let’s just dismantle all religion and people will be allowed into heaven anyway. Stop wasting my time!

Logically, the concept of an ‘unconscious Christian’ makes sense because we know that human beings are made in the “image and likeness” of God. The human being alone among all creatures on earth is a self-conscious person. We are replicas of God, who is the eternal self-conscious Person. So because every human being is a replica of God, it follows that if you love human beings, you love God. This all makes sense.

No, we don’t know this. There are almost certainly no gods, so how could we have been created in its image? None of what Badir says makes any sense unless you first accept the fact that there is a deity. If you are an atheist, this entire rag is a worthless string of words. The word “logically” should not have been used in this article unless proceeded by the words “the author is not thinking”. If you start the critical thinking process with a falsehood, then it is no longer logical. “All unicorns are loving animals. A unicorn would never harm me.” That would be true if unicorns existed.

Now this view of things makes sense to our consciences and our minds, because we know that God is not a ridiculous and absurd God who would punish to all eternity someone who never heard about him. God is all loving, all embracing, and there are many sinners who will be in heaven (Matthew 22: 32).

The god of the Bible is not ridiculous and absurd except when he is. The author has obviously never read the Bible or is cherry picking the hell out of it. Do I have to quote Job? What about God commanding the Israelites to commit genocide, rape women, and dash babies heads against rocks? How about when Abraham scarred his son for life by almost stabbing him to death because God told him to? It’s your book Christians, not mine. I am just pointing out the logical inconsistencies in what Badir says and what the Bible says.

The second thing to realize from this is that only a Christian can love and believe in life with complete interior freedom. Christians have a truth that sets them free. An ‘unconscious Christian’ has to deal with this troubling issue: if the energy of the sun (and the entire universe for that matter) will one day dissipate, and all life die, what is really the point in loving my neighbour? Why not get what is good for me while I can? One who knows in the back of their minds that one day the earth will fail to be here can be tempted to be an anarchist, in the strictest and pejorative sense of the word. A Hitler. An anti-Christ. Life is absurd. A Christian, on the other hand, knows the effect of the cause. Loving each other will one day bring the earth to completion. Long before the sun fades away, humanity’s love for itself will intensify until it culminates in the love of God, and the New Jerusalem will descend from heaven, and God will “be all in all” (I Corinthians 15: 28).

The author is driving me to the brink of insanity. What he is saying is that Muslims, Buddhists, Wiccans, Pagans, Jews, etc, are not capable of love and freedom. What a bigoted remark to make. I would not want to be part of any group of people who felt this way about their fellow human beings. What the author is also saying is that non-Christians have to will to live, since the universe is going to end anyway. What the author fails to understand is that people who are good because of the thought of an eternal reward are bad people. Why can’t we just be good for goodness sake? I help my fellow humans because I hate suffering, not because sky daddy is going to give me an eternal cookie.

Accusing atheists of nihilism (not anarchy) is at best stupid. Just because our current understanding of the universe says that the universe will eventually die, that doesn’t mean that we should just end it all. On the contrary, knowing how lucky we are to have been the strongest sperm to make it to the egg makes life a lot sweeter. I enjoy my life because I know this is all I have and ending it prematurely would be ridiculous. In my opinion, religious people in general lead some of the most horrible and stifling lives. Religionists spend their entire lives ashamed for thinking (thinking!) “impure” thoughts, or for having human urges which are goddamned natural. Religionists sit around wringing their hands because they were born human and have needs and wants like everyone else. That, my friends, is the real tragedy. These people will never live their lives to the fullest because they are constantly worried about the galactic thumb coming to smash them into the ground. They think they have some afterlife, some kind of ethereal reward. Guess what: there is no proof, so why worry about it?

I also like the jab thrown in comparing atheists to Hitler, like that hasn’t been said a million times and debunked a million times. So for that, I will compare Badir Awe, Billy Graham, Jerry Fallwell, and every other religionist to Osama bin Laden. There is one of your fellow religionists you can be proud of. I don’t need any proof to do this, I just have to say it.

If there is an afterlife and it is filled with people like Badir Awe, then please, blink me out of existence. I don’t think I could handle eternity with such a boorish dullard.


  1. Logical thinking has never been the hallmark of the religious mind, Will. To start with a questionable premise and prop it up with even more questionable premises is counter to the rules of logic. You make a pretty good point of that.

    The part that always gets under my skin like some kind of internal boring parasite is the notion that life is meaningless if it's not going to last forever. That is absurd beyond measure. If life is rare and brief, that makes it more precious and more imperative to live it as well as possible now. While the idea of no eternal consequences might make reprehensible behavior attractive for some, at the end of my life, I don't want my last thought to be, "Damn... I was a real dick!" I'd prefer to think that I can look back with pride and say, "That was a life well spent. I made people happy and did my best to make at least my little part of the world better."

  2. Jim, good one. "Logical thinking has never been the hallmark of the religious mind". I have one, atheists historically have shown a lack common sense and are unable to use reason. Let's lump all groups of people now. Let's group all people by race, religion etc. Are you educated? So let me guess Jim you have your GED in higher thinking. WOW. Will seems like you have read the bible soom. Keep reading.